Get off your keister; it's time for EASTER!

Easter weekend brought our four college kids home from Utah and my niece and her family down from Omaha. It was wonderful to have a house full of family and all that comes with it.

Friday night we enjoyed dinner together (grilled Italian chicken breasts, rice pilaf, oven-roasted vegies, homemade french bread, and ice cream) and then played Cranium for hours. It was so fun having the family together again.

Jennie and Jess with the Easter Bunny (Daniel)

Crazy Easter Bunny jumped right into David's arms.

Everyone was a huge help in pulling off the big Easter egg hunt and picnic on Saturday. We ended up having about 150 people in attendance with around 60 (under age 12) kids participating in the hunt. It took a chunk of the morning to hide the 750 plus eggs; no way I could have done it alone. Daniel did a fabulous job as the Easter bunny...skipping across the field, hiding behind a tree, and just totally playing up the part. Dana entertained the youth (12 to 17 year olds) with a pinata busting.

The Easter Bunny takes a swing.

James' turn.

Candy, cash, and gift cards!

There was plenty of good food and fun. The only thing I would have changed was the weather. Thankfully, it didn't rain, but the wind was kicking and made for chilly temperatures. Who would have thought that this late in April we'd need to wear winter parkas?!!?

Baylie and my blanket keeping me warm.

Saturday afternoon, "the girls" and I went on a shopping spree, while the guys hung out, watched, sports, played ultimate frisbee, and did what guys do. For dinner, we whipped up some burgers, fries, and fresh fruit salad with homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert.

Charlotte in her Easter outfit.

Charlotte with Mommy...all ready for church.

Charlotte with Daddy

Easter Sunday was perfect! We all attended a wonderful church meeting together filled with inspiring music and words. Afterwards, we sat down as a family for an Easter feast including glazed ham, cheesy potatoes, green beans, carrots, homemade rolls, and Easter chocolates. Candice, Craig, and little Charlotte had to head back to Omaha shortly after and we were sad to see them go.

Watching Craig, Candice, and Charlotte drive off.

I love spring time and the newness of life associated with this time of year. I love baby chicks, egg hunts, colorful blossoms, soft bunnies, jelly beans, rain showers, cute baskets, chocolate bunnies, and all the rest. Most of all, I love knowing that death has been conquered; that Jesus Christ overcame temporal death and that He lives. Knowing that I will once again be with those I love and miss gives me a great feeling of hope, joy, and happiness.

Happy Easter everyone!

Ten Tips for Helping Kids Memorize

Many of us underestimate our children's ability to memorize. Those little sponges absorb and retain a phenomenal amount of information.

Once when my son, Daniel, was about three years old, I promised him we could bake chocolate chip cookies together. He was so anxious and excited about it, he could hardly wait. I was busy with his little sister, and when I finally made it to the kitchen, I saw that he had carefully placed on the counter every ingredient we would need plus a mixing bowl, measuring cups, and measuring spoons. I couldn't believe it! He was THREE! He couldn't possibly read a recipe, but he had seen me bake cookies before, and he memorized all the ingredients...from the brown and white sugars down to the baking soda and vanilla. He even knew how many eggs we needed!

I shouldn't have been so surprised. The same kid could rattle off every line in the movie "Toy Story" and name every Star Wars figure known to man. Our children's little minds are truly amazing! This experience reinforced to me that I really should be capitalizing on the opportunity to teach them while they're young and even help them commit to memory valuable information. From poems to scriptures to multiplication tables, children who can memorize are miles ahead of those that never learn how.

Here are some tips/methods for helping your kids memorize:

1. Put it to Music - Children can hear a silly rhyme or song once and sing it again days later. Something about the rhythm, rhyme, and melody helps it stick. Think about it. How do we teach them their ABC's? We sing them. Whatever you want your children to learn, your chances are increased significantly if you put it to music. Forth graders are able to memorize all fifty states...IN ORDER...in just a couple of days by learning a catchy tune. My youngest used to sing at the top of her lungs every time she was sitting on the potty (something about the echo in the bathroom, I guess). What did she sing? The days of the week. Thanks to a big purple dinosaur named Barney, she had them memorized as a two-year-old because they were set to music.

2. Echo - Slip on a "magic" glove (any ole' glove will do). When it points to mom, it's her turn; when it points to the child, it's his turn. Recite just a few words at a time and then have the child repeat (echo) what you say. Add on one or two more words each time.

3. Recite in Different Voices - This is a fun way to increase repetition while minimizing boredom. Have the kids recite it in baby talk, in a British accent, in an army sergeant's command, in an opera singer's voice, in a whisper, in a fast-speed chipmunk voice, in a robot voice, in a Donald Duck voice, country western style, etc. You get the idea. Be creative and have fun with it.

4. Erase It - For children who can read, write out the entire verse on a dry-erase board or chalkboard. Have them read it aloud and then chose one word to erase. Read aloud again (including the missing word) and choose a second word to erase. Continue to repeat. Eventually, the entire verse will be erased and they will recite it on their own.

5. Create an Acronym - Instead of writing out the entire verse, just give them the first letter of each word as sort of a "cheat sheet". For example, if they were memorizing The Pledge of Allegience, you would write "I P A T T F O T U S O A..." I often use this tool with "Erase It"...works great for adults too!

6. Review Often-If you don't use it, you lose it. Review especially right before bedtime. I once read that we should pay close attention to what enters our child's mind right before sleep. Whatever a child hears, sees, or experiences immediately before dozing off sticks with them throughout the night. Knowing this, I would much rather have a poem about honesty or obedience in their impressionable little minds than the nightmare of mom screaming at them to get into bed--just another valuable tidbit of information that I found very useful.

7. Create an Acrostic - What the heck is an acrostic? I've used them many times, but didn't know they had a name. Lists can be challenging to learn, especially in the right order. For example, the seventh Article of Faith lists: "tongues, prophecy, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues...." When my oldest was memorizing this we both had trouble getting them in order. I suggested that he come up with a sentence made of words that started with the same letters (TPVHI). I have to admit, every time I recite the 7th Article of Faith now, I think of his boyish sentence and it puts a smile on my face. Ready for this? "Toilet Paper Very Helpful Indeed!" That was his acrostic! Whatever it takes, right? Many school age children learn the planets in order the same way. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto ="My Very Energetic Mom Just Served Us Nine Pizzas." Cool tool, huh?

8. Break it up - When your kids are memorizing anything of significant length, it's always helpful to divide it into manageable pieces. This is especially useful with long lists of numbers. One school teacher used this method for helping young children memorize their phone number quickly. First she talked about their having a first, middle, and last name. She had them each write down their three names. Then she explained that their phone number had a first, middle, and last name. What's your phone number's first name? (213) What's your phone number's middle name? (398) What's your phone number's last name (7682). What's your phone number's name? 213-398-7682. Memorizing ten digits in a row may be too challenging, but three smaller sets of numbers is not.

9. Use more Senses - The more senses your child uses, the more engaged her brain is and the stronger the imprint left on her memory. It has been said that we only retain a small percentage of what we hear, we remember a greater percentage of what we hear and see, and an even larger percentage of what we hear, see, and do. When helping children memorize, it's useful to add visual aids and/or actions. American sign language or other simple hand gestures assist with the memory process. So, make some flashcards or a poster; better yet, have your child help make them. If you want your child to do well on a spelling test, in addition to having her look at the words, and spell the words aloud, have her write the words repeatedly. It's not just "busy work". The more senses she uses, the more she'll remember.

10. Repetition - Quote the poem, verse, or article over and over. Repetition can be extremely helpful in learning patterns. Did you know that in the past few years, learning by repetition has been associated with forming the connection of synapses in brain cells? Basically, this helps with not only learning the information in the first place, but also in recalling it throughout the life of the child. Once the information has been memorized using repetition, the information is more easily recalled in the future. That must be why I still remember all the poems I memorized in elementary school. Repeat, repeat, repeat!

I hope these tips are helpful to you and your children. They've certainly worked for me and mine. :)

Helping Your Children Achieve Their Goals

Reaching our goals gives us a great feeling of accomplishment, builds our self confidence, and drives us towards more progress and growth. Learning to set and achieve goals can and should begin very young. How young? Easily by three years of age. What kind of goal could a three-year-old possibly have? Well, if you've ever raised a child, you might understand that any of these could be possibilities:

1. Stay in my bed all night.

2. Keep my panties dry all day.

3. Wipe myself when I go potty.

4. Eat all my vegetables at meal time.

5. Pick up my toys every day.

I had a two-year-old say to me the other day with great excitement, "Ms. Colleen, I sleeped ALL NIGHT!" She was so proud of her accomplishment. More so, I think, than she was about the sparkly sticker mom and dad gave her in the morning.

For a five-year old, the goal may be:

1. Tie my own shoes.

2. Read a book aloud each night.

3. Make my bed every day before breakfast.

4. Use good manners at the dinner table.

5. Put away my clean laundry without being asked.

Professionals say it takes approximately 21 days to develop a new habit (seven days to break one). So, we can't expect a child to conquer any of these overnight. It's a process. The best thing we can do is to encourage them, give them incentive, and help them (and ourselves) visualize their progress. A few great ways to do that will be explained here.

First of all, in order to succeed, it's important to know what motivates your child. (Like I said in yesterday's post, it's amazing what a kid will do for a sticker.) Typically, younger children are motivated by toys, treats, and television time (that is, if television viewing is limited in the home...like it should be). Teenagers tend to be motivated by freedom, friends, fun, and food (i.e. driving privileges and money). For my young son, Daniel, the best reward was the latest, most commercially-advertised, action figure on the market. During his early childhood, this varied through the years from Ninja Turtles to Power Rangers to Buzz Lightyear & Woody. For example's sake, let's say he's trying to earn a Power Ranger action figure by making his bed every morning. Here are a few systems that usually worked in our home:

The Pie Chart (recommended for ages 3 and up): Every day, after Daniel makes his bed, he gets to color in one section of the pie. That's an immediate reward for accomplishing a short-term goal. He also can see his progress towards the big reward. What's the long-term goal? Establishing a new habit--making his bed every morning. He knows when the pie is filled, he gets his new Power Ranger toy. I know when the pie is filled, he has established a good habit of making his bed every day. (For a three-year-old, I would start with only eight slices of pie or provide some intermediate rewards. Otherwise, they may lose interest.)

Behavior Bucks (recommended for ages four and up): Every day, after Daniel makes his bed, he earns a "behavior buck" (fake money from the store or from our Monopoly game). The "behavior buck" is an immediate reward for accomplishing a short-term goal. Daniel knows once he has earned 20 behavior bucks, he gets a new Power Ranger action figure. I know when he has earned 20 behavior bucks, he has also established a wonderful habit of making his bed every day. Additional benefit here is reinforcing how to count to 20.

Spell it Out (recommended for ages 5 and up): Every day, after Daniel makes his bed, he gets a huge colorful letter prominently displayed for all to see. Eventually, the letters will spell "POWER RANGER ACTION TOY". Each letter is an immediate reward for accomplishing a short-term goal. (Plus, most people who see the big letters ask about them and make positive comments. That gives Daniel even more incentive. ) Daniel knows when the words are complete, he gets his new toy. I know when the words are complete, he has established a good habit of making his bed every day. Additional benefits here are learning to recognize letters, sounds, and words.

If you've ever taken a beginning psychology class, you know that once the habit is established, the reward can gradually be removed. It's the ole' Pavlov's theory with the dogs. Eventually, they would salivate just hearing the bell ring. Hopefully, once the rewards are removed completely, Daniel will continue to feel good about himself every morning as he makes his bed independently. That's the goal anyway. However, I will say that every few years, a new reward system may need to be established.

Again, my emphasis here is the early years. I feel so strongly that much of our children's personality, moral character, and mental capacity is developed between birth and age eight. Although it is no one's job but mine (and my husband's) to teach, inspire and motivate my children, I appreciate the outside positive influences from church, school, and community. They say "It takes a whole village to raise a child." Thankfully, we belong to a wonderful church that provides goal-oriented programs for our children from age eight until eighteen. Without support from home, though, these programs don't avail much.

I hope this post is helpful to someone out there. The important things are that you try to emphasize "positive reinforcement", remain optimistic, and don't give up. Of course, I'm sharing ideas that worked for us; there were plenty that didn't. And then there were those that worked sometimes and didn't at others. Any experienced parent will tell you what works for one child doesn't necessarily work for another. Parenting requires (among other things) some trial and error. Isn't it wonderful that God trusts imperfect beings like you and me to raise His precious children?

"YOU DID IT!" Reward System

It's still amazing to me what a kid will do to earn a sticker, but then I realize how good it feels when I, as a grown adult, simply cross something off my "to do" list. Sometimes, I'll even write down things I've already done, just so I can cross them off. I know, pathetic. It seems such a small thing; but it carries deep satisfaction. It says, "YES! I DID IT!"

When my four children were ages two through six, we started a reward system that actually worked for longer than a week--I think it was closer to a couple of years. I used a large incentive chart with their four names at the left and hundreds of tiny squares to the right. Simple, right? The goal was to fill the squares with tiny smiley face stickers. They could earn up to four stickers a day. How? By fulfilling their responsibilities with a good attitude. See, because if they were going to whine and cry and grumble their way through their duties, I would rather just do it myself. I wanted them to learn responsibility, but I also wanted them to learn to be cheerful about it.

If you read yesterday's post, you know we had a routine for morning, after school, and evening. If they made it through that portion of the day (morning, afternoon, or evening) with a good attitude, they were rewarded. (So, one melt down in the morning didn't mean, "Why try? The entire day is ruined!" It meant, "I won't get a sticker this morning, but I'll do better this afternoon.")

I said four a day; that's only three. We also worked each morning at the breakfast table on memorizing our church's Articles of Faith (13 statements about what we believe) and/or various poems that would teach them a virtue or life skill. Children's minds are amazing! They are little sponges and I wanted to take advantage of those most formative years...ages birth through eight. Here are a couple examples of poems they learned:

Stick to your task till it sticks to you;

Beginners are many, but enders are few.

Honour, power, place, and praise

Will come, in time, to the one who stays.

Stick to your task till it sticks to you;

Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it too;

For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile

Will come life's victories, after awhile.

-Anonymous

All the water in the world, No matter how it tried

Could never sink the smallest ship, Unless it got inside.

All the evil of the world, And every kind of sin

Could never damn a human soul, Unless we let it in.

(M. Russell Ballard May 1989 Ensign, p. 80)

My mother says she doesn't care,

About the color of my hair,

Or if my eyes are blue or brown,

Or if my nose turns up or down.

She says she doesn't care about things like that

It really doesn't matter.

My mother says she doesn't care

If I'm dark or if I'm fair,

If I'm thin or if I'm fat.

She says she doesn't care about things like that,

It really doesn't matter.

But if I cheat or tell a lie,

Or do mean things to make folks cry,

If I'm rude or impolite,

And do not try to do what's right...

That matters!

It isn't looks that make one great;

It's character that seals your fate.

It's what you are in your heart, you see,

That makes or mars your destiny.

And that REALLY matters!

(Author Unknown)

Whatever we were working on was printed and posted right next to the chart. As soon as the kids could quote it to me twice in a row without any help, they earned another sticker. It was unlikely that they would memorize one every day, but it was perfectly possible. The two year old was the fastest memorizer in the group! Check this post for tips on helping kids memorize.

Now, if earning stickers alone wasn't enough, every ten stickers they got to roll the die. Half the fun was the surprise of not knowing what they would earn. Here's the reward attached to each number on the die:

1. Surprise Box (A collection of small toys and treats that I picked up on sale and wrapped in fun paper.)

2. Play Date (Invite a friend over to play at our house - this was always a favorite.)

3. Mommy or Daddy Date (A one-on-one evening out doing a fun activity like bowling or getting manicures. The evening usually included ice cream cones and a late bedtime.)

4. Shiny new quarter (Yes, they loved this reward. It was enough to buy a giant gumball from the machine at Costco. They didn't care that it had taken them days to earn 25 cents. It was their own hard-earned coin!)

5. Painting on the art easel (This was a messy activity that required supervision. I didn't let them do it everyday.)

6. Free Choice or Roll Again (It was really "free choice", but if they couldn't decide within a reasonable amount of time, we made them roll again.)

I think one of the reasons this system worked so well is that it integrated both short-term and long-term goals. It also had a variety of rewards so they didn't get bored easily. Everyone gathered around for the die rolling whenever someone earned ten stickers. The entire family would cheer them on. Some earned ten stickers every two and a half days, others took a week. Everyone could work at their own pace.

My kids are now ages 17 to 21. They can still tell you what each die roll represented and I'll never forget the precious mommy dates we shared.

Jennie and Mom - May 1996

This pic was taken in a photo booth

at the mall during one of our mommy/daughter dates.

Did you hear? Daniel's goin' on a mission!

It's true!

He submitted his completed forms

on Wednesday night(March 30th, 2011)

The Stake President actually let Daniel do it himself,

so he counted down and clicked on "submit".

The call should come anytime in the next two weeks.

Check back to see where he's going.

Better yet, leave a comment with your prediction!

Wouldn't you let this handsome young man in your door?

Some things change; some don't...

What do these photos all have in common?

Spring 1993

Summer 1993

Fall 1994

Summer 2005

Fall 2005

Summer 2008

Fall 2008

Spring 2009

Winter 2009

Winter 2010

Anyone see a pattern? :)-

I don't get it.

Do you think it's genetic?

Clothes Thief by TheSn0wSh0w

(Before watching this video, pause tunes at bottom of blog.)

My son, Daniel, and his buddies in BYU's Snow Hall are constantly creating videos for fun. This one took 2nd Place in BYU's Funniest College Videos Competition. Check out more of them on youtube. They are all done by "TheSnOwShOw"...and they make! me! laugh!

p.s. "Two Man Flash Dance" always puts me in a good mood. :)

Now and Then

Did I mention that all four of our kids are attending out-of-state universities? It's amazing the vacant emotions that surface with "empty nesting". I really had no idea! My daycare babies have been a huge blessing. Kids are what I do. I'm pretty darn proud of how mine are turning out.

Now - 2011

(Olathe, KS; the day after David returned from Japan)

Then - 1992

(It's not time to cut the cake yet. Could they possibly get any closer to it? "We're not touchin' it; we're just lookin'.")

Then - 1993

(Jennie, bursting with personality; David, not so much.)

Then - 1994

(Why did we always take pictures in front of Nana & Papa's fireplace?)

Then - 1995

(See? BTW, I love the handholding!)

Then - 1996

(Goofing around on the playground - Atascadero Zoo)

Then - 1996

Feeding the ducks at Waller Park

Then - 1997

(Ready for church - Jennie was always a little mommy.)

Then - 1998

(We support Cub Scouts. Hugs!)

Then - 1999

(First day of school. Sorry about your bangs, Jen. I didn't know any better.)

Then 2000

(Vacationing witout Dad; Avila Beach, CA)

Then - 2001

(Outside our first home in Olathe, KS)

Then 2002

(Alpine Slide; Park City, Utah)

Now again