What I learned from "The Bachelor: Women Tell All"

• If you insist on national television that you don't need therapy, you probably do.
• If you swear on your child's life that "nothing happened", it probably did.
• If you deny that you were intentionally playing games, you probably were.
• If the worst people can say about you is that you dream in cartoons and s**t rainbows, you'll probably be a great wife.
• If he hasn't kissed you, he probably doesn't want to.
• If you dump a guy for your job, he probably won't take you back.
• If the perfect man tells you it's okay to fall in love with him, it probably isn't.
• If all the girls hate you, his family probably will too.
• If you have to convince people that you are emotionally stable, then you probably aren't.
• If the audience response is any clue, Ali will probably be the next bachelorette.
• If Jake's truly happy, then he probably doesn't stay with Vienna.
• If most of your conversations include something about your previous husband, you're probably not ready to remarry.
• If your name is Michelle, then you are probably psycho.
• If you've read this far, then you're probably addicted to the drama like I am.

THE BACHELOR: THE FINAL ROSE; NEXT MONDAY!!!!!