Monday, February 22, 2010

What I learned from "The Bachelor: Women Tell All"

  • If you insist on national television that you don't need therapy, you probably do.
  • If you swear on your child's life that "nothing happened", it probably did.
  • If you deny that you were intentionally playing games, you probably were.
  • If the worst people can say about you is that you dream in cartoons and s**t rainbows, you'll probably be a great wife.
  • If he hasn't kissed you, he probably doesn't want to.
  • If you dump a guy for your job, he probably won't take you back.
  • If the perfect man tells you it's okay to fall in love with him, it probably isn't.
  • If all the girls hate you, his family probably will too.
  • If you have to convince people that you are emotionally stable, then you probably aren't.
  • If the audience response is any clue, Ali will probably be the next bachelorette.
  • If Jake's truly happy, then he probably doesn't stay with Vienna.
  • If most of your conversations include something about your previous husband, you're probably not ready to remarry.
  • If your name is Michelle, then you are probably psycho.
  • If you've read this far, then you're probably addicted to the drama like I am.


  1. I haven't been watching the show, but now I think I will. I am intrigued!

  2. you're hilarious. and I agree with the things that you said. Rozlyn was too much for me. UGH! trying to turn the negative attention to Chris. you can tell from the previews that Jake's family doesn't like Vienna. Join the club.

  3. And if your name is Roslyn, you're probably a cheap slut who slings mud at others to deflect from your own shallow trashiness. And you lie. A lot.

  4. AHAHAHAHAHA! Colleen, this is hilarious. I want to copy it and put it on my blog! You are very clever, very intuitive, and we have something in common... we are both hooked, aren't we?
    That was the most entertaining Women Tell All I have ever seen. And I have the utmost respect for Gia. I want her to be the next Bachelorette.

  5. I wish I weren't addicted. After each season ends I say "I am done with this"!! That hasn't happened. I loved the post...It made me laugh.